I am Sheamus - Very Personal Development

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“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” - Benjamin Franklin

“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” - Ernest Hemingway

“He was a wise man who invented beer.” - Plato

“You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.” - Frank Zappa

“A fine beer may be judged with only one sip, but it’s better to be thoroughly sure.” - Czech Proverb

Previously in this blog I’d written about abstaining from the consumption of alcohol for 30 days. Well, only 14 days have actually passed, but to celebrate my recent weight loss, I’ve decided to have a few beers this evening. That sounds a bit like madness, but my current diet doesn’t require me to abstain from alcohol at all - that was by choice. A few beers once in a while never did anyone any harm! After tonight, I’ll take another two weeks off before I have a drink again.

So, off I went to the store to see what tickled my fancy. Usually for my beer I stick to a few favourite brands - Corona, Heineken, Peroni, sometimes (although increasingly rarely) Stella Artois, that kind of thing. But tonight I wanted to try something different. And I was making my selections, it suddenly dawned on me that it might translate well into a post for my blog.

So, here we are: four beers. Why four? It’s a nice round number, and I’ve found that, generally, when one engages beyond this level a descent into madness swiftly follows. Four beers is a reasonable limit. With four beers - four different beers, preferably from differing parts of the globe - I can still maintain enough of a control over my mental faculties to actually think about what I’m drinking, too.

The point of this exercise is to drink each beer, think about it, and then write a mini review. If this post is even remotely popular, I’ll consider doing this around once per month, roughly around the same time (i.e., 15th-20th). Each time, I’ll select four different beers that I’ve never tried before, or haven’t tried for some time, and in a few months we’ll have a nice little selection for you to peruse.

Incidentally, to clarify: my use of the word ‘beer’ is interchangeable for lager, ale and stouts. They’re all beer to me. Generally I prefer to drink lager, particularly on a hot day, but on other occasions you’ll find me necking a lot of Guinness and things like that.

If you have any suggestions or know of a beer you think I would like, post a comment or send me an email. Thanks!

(Important Note: If I suddenly start doing these “Four Beers” columns weekly or every other day, you’ll know my life has spiralled horribly out of control.)

Tusker Kenyan Lager (4.2% ABV, £1.69/500ml)

I’d never heard of Tusker Kenyan Lager, or, indeed, East African Breweries Ltd, before making my purchase tonight. It is, however, the biggest brand in East Africa. Apparently, for many Kenyan’s Tusker lager is what they think of when somebody suggests a beer.

Regarding the name, as the site says:

George Hurst a co-founder of Kenya Breweries Ltd, was killed by an elephant during a hunting expedition in 1923. In memory of his tragic death, this famous lager beer that he had helped create was renamed ‘Tusker’.

It’s a clean, crisp lager that is quite refreshing, with a moderate nuttiness that appeals. At 4.2% it’s quite light, too, certainly in the present climate where nearly all lagers are around the five per cent level, and could, I think, be drunk at reasonable volume to great satisfaction on a hot, sticky day. Tusker has won Gold Medals in the International Monde Selection Quality Awards, and I can believe it. It’s a good lager.

I’d rate it an eight out of ten.

Samuel Adams Boston Lager (4.8% ABV, £1.59/355ml)

I used to drink Samuel Adams fairly regularly, many years ago when it first arrived on British shores. Despite its massive popularity in the States, it’s not the easiest beer to locate in the UK. Sainsbury’s is, as far as I know, the only major supermarket that stocks it, certainly in my area, but this may vary in different locations. You very rarely see it in any British pubs or bars. It’s been at least 10 years since I’ve had one.

Samuel Adams was, according to Wikipedia, “an American statesman, politician, writer and political philosopher, brewer, and one of the Founding Fathers of the United States”, as well as being a cousin of John Adams Jr., America’s second-ever president (and first vice-president). That’s a pretty respectable innings for one man.

(American readers will probably be wondering how I couldn’t possibly know an awful lot about Samuel Adams without having to look him up; the reality is that, much like how massively important British events like The Battle Of Hastings don’t get an enormous amount of attention in the States, certainly at the school level, we don’t hear an awful lot about the American Revolution over here. I imagine that’s a constant throughout the world - you tend to learn about your own history more than anything else. Whether this is a good thing is very much open to debate.)

Samuel Adams Boston Lager is an unusual brew. Technically, it’s isn’t a lager, at least inasmuch as how your average British person would define (or expect) it.

The website suggests that the beer is “brewed using a decoction mash, a time consuming, traditional four vessel brewing process discarded by many contemporary brewers”. This translates to a taste that is noticeably nutty with a kind of smooth roasted flavour, whilst maintaining a certain sweetness. It’s quite thick on the tongue, too - the flavour lingers in your mouth for some time. Certainly not unpleasant - I like it - but I’m not sure it’s a drink to be consumed in volume. One would imagine it would become quite sickly after maybe three or four bottles.

Amusingly, according to Wiki:

Samuel Adams Boston Lager was voted “Best Beer in America” by fest-goers at the Association of Brewers’ “Great American Beer Festival” several times in the mid to late 1980s, although that award was mired in controversies surrounding accusations of ballot-stuffing. The award was later cut from the Great American Beer Festival as a result of the controversy.

I’d rate Samuel Adams Boston Lager a seven out of ten.

Staropramen Premium Beer (5.0% ABV, £1.29/330ml)

This Prague beer is excellent. Very crisp, very fresh-tasting, with a satisfying bite and absolutely no unpleasant after-taste. Drinking it ice-cold, as I did (and as one always should), is quite the pleasure.

The Staropramen brewery was founded in 1869, and this premium lager is Prague’s number-one domestic brand.

I’d rate this a nine out of ten.

Kingfisher Premium Lager (4.8% ABV, £1.69/660ml)

Kingfisher Premium Lager is the world’s number one selling Indian lager. Named after the great numbers of birds of the same name that abound in India, Kingfisher is now sold in over 52 countries worldwide, and has received many accolades for its quality. In India, it has a share of some 36 per cent of the entire beer market.

According to Wiki:

Modern beer brewing began for India in the early days of the British Empire — the mid-1700s. The demand for beer in the hot climate of many parts of India by the British administrators and the troops was so great that it led to the creation of a completely new style of beer by George Hodgson in his London brewery — India Pale Ale also known as IPA.

Kingfisher Premium Lager is a nice beer. Nice isn’t the greatest of words, certainly in any kind of review about alcohol. Beer shouldn’t be nice. But that’s what Kingfisher is. It’s cold, it’s crisp and it’s very quaffable (I’ll never use that word to describe beer again, I promise), but it’s also intrinsically bland. There’s nothing wrong with it per se - it just doesn’t set the house on fire. I mean, it may be that it is my fourth beer of the evening, but after the Staropramen it’s a little bit lacking, most notably in bite.

However, it goes down fairly smooth. You could drink it at volume, if one was so inclined.

The bottle is great, though, and does improve the drinking process simply because of the long neck. I love long-necked beer bottles.

I’d rate Kingfisher Premium Lager an eight out of ten.

And so concludes the (hopefully) first edition of Four Beers. I hope you had as much fun as I did.